Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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