Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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