This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
