Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
