You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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