I look better un-naked...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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