Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
