so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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