she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
