I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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