um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My vagina is very pro this idea
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
