he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
