Well douche your snatch and let's go!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
