We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
