I need help removing her.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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