i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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