Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
