you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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