Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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