I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
