Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
