Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
