please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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