some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
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