i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
