I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
