it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
