I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
