I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
