Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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