The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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