My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
