so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
