we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize