I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
