I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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