it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We left an ass print on the piano.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
