you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
