I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He shit in the fireplace
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
