Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
