omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize