Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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