i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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