My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
