She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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