I'm jealous of your bromance
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I smell like Dick and happiness
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
