I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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