is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
