I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish i was in the wii world.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
