i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
