i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize