Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
