this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
