You really coming over, don't trick.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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