Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
