Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
