Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
