My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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