im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
id be glad to
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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