the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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