I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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