I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
