You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you will always have a special place in my vag
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
