Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize